I asked permission from the woman in this story to share the account of a lesson and blessing she received from a recent fishing trip. What a privilege to share her testimony of faith and courage as she is in addiction recovery...
She had been out on the pond bank for a few hours, tossing her line and reeling in, quietly pondering the day and feeling excited to be in a place where she felt peace. She was proud of her new fishing lure that her husband had just given her for her birthday. Fishing had become a solace for her, a place to just "be" and a healthy replacement for the bondage of her addiction. As she cast her line into the middle of the pond, she heard the discouraging snap of her line breaking, and her heart broke as she saw her new lure floating detached from the line in the middle of the pond. There was no wind that day, so she watched sadly as it floated alone in the big pond...broken, trapped, immobile, unreachable, stuck....and that's exactly how she felt. As much as she hated to lose her brand new lure, she left it behind and headed home. The anxiety of the loss loomed as she walked in the door to home. It was almost evening when the phone rang, and her sister was on the other line with the devastating news from the doctor that it was cancer. Her big sister, cancer, how could that be? Her husband was not home, and the loneliness and feelings of complete helplessness washed over her as she tried to manage the pain of the day. Her thoughts turned to her addiction - "maybe just one more time would be okay." She changed her mind realizing she had already come so far in her recovery. So, she said a prayer and asked God to help her resist the temptation. After her prayer, as the sun began to set, she headed back down to her same spot on the pond. The wind had now picked up, and within 20 minutes of her return to the water, she caught her lost lure! The excitement overwhelmed her, and she could not believe the "luck" she had received. After sharing the story with friends, family, and mentors, she began to realize through their tears and excitement that this had not been luck after all. This was an affirmation...a reminder from God of the victory over temptation. When she feels alone, stuck, and detached, she does not have to call on her unhealthy coping mechanisms to get her through. She must ask for help, get back up (or go back to the pond), and keep moving forward.
Unfortunately losses will happen, pain will happen, bad news will come. These things are devastating and certainly worthy of our sadness. It becomes detrimental, however, when our sadness turns to self-pity that fuels our addictions. Addictions provide an escape from the pain, but they keep us stuck in a cycle of numbing and inability to handle our feelings. Become aware of what "lures" you to use your unhealthy coping...and reel it back in with your healthy responses. It's okay to be sad...talk to someone about it and ask for help. You are never alone.
